I Have a Great Life and it Has Nothing to Do With Luck.
When people tell me I am lucky I tell them to fuck off. Don’t call me lucky!
“Lucky?” I cry. “You think my lifestyle was gift wrapped and presented to me one day like a cosmic lucky dip of fortune, so that others like you can look on wistfully and give up on your own life? It was worked for, cried for, sweated for and fought for. I earned it and I strive to better it every day with every waking breath I take. So don’t call me lucky.”
Whoa, that escalated fast, right?
It’s just that in my opinion luck isn’t about coincidence, serendipidity, being in the right place at the right time, favoured by the Gods or randomly selected. It’s a lot simpler than that. Luck is hand-made.
But what about people born into abusive families, kids caught up in war zones and those struck down with terrible illnesses? I hear you scream in unison (because you really are a predictable lot). Well I’m no Glenn Hoddle (remember his ‘disabled people were reincarnated as such for a reason’ gaff?) or a mean member of some satanic cult – I agree with you, that is crap and undeserved. Well done, you are right. Also, those things are obviously not anyone’s fault. Except life’s fault, because life giveth and taketh away, so let’s stop being surprised that people keep dying and suffering and just help where we can and be thankful it isn’t happening to those we love.
What I’m talking is being lucky on a day to day basis; about things going for you or against you. Life’s trivialities that collectively make us happy or unhappy.
Are you one of those poor unfortunate souls at the back of the fairy dust queue that always get the shitty end of the stick? Then you won’t like what you are about to read, because it’s down to you to change your own luck.
I class myself as one of the very fortunate in this world – but not for the reasons that most people congratulate me on. I, like most of you reading this (because you have the intellect, technology, time and eyes to do so) was born with a head start. I was raised by loving parents that housed and fed me in a safe country with access to clean water and an education (like most of you). Plus I have all my body parts and have suffered no life-threatening illnesses (like most of you). And, most importantly of all, I’ve gone on to have two wonderful kids that also have nothing seriously wrong with them (like a lot of you). All that makes me the luckiest person in the world, but it also applies to hundreds of people I know and millions of you out there; millions who regularly complain that others are luckier than them.
So why do I hate it so much when people tell me I’m lucky, when they also have all the above?
Because I have a life I love, which people presume is pure luck. But I made it that way. I live in a hot country, in a gorgeous house near the beach, with a hard-working loving husband and kids, I work for myself and still have some spare time and money to do fun things.
‘Oh you are so lucky, lucky, lucky,’ they all chime. NOT ‘wow, it must have taken a lot of effort for you both to study so hard to get a good job and earn decent money, so much foresight and willpower to save money, a lot of heartbreak with the wrong guys to finally recognize the right one to marry, some real cojones to up sticks and leave behind all the ones you love and immigrate to a sunny country, and so brave to set up a business on your own during the recession.’
Nope, apparently I’m just lucky.
Help me out here, because I’m confused. Aren’t these the very same people that had the same start as me and the same opportunities to get some balls, change their lives and go for it too? No invisible force is making them stay in their shitty job, with their shitty boyfriend, putting up with shitty weather while they despondently flick through glossy mags resenting those that are happy with their lot.
So if you want to live a different life than the one you created then get off your unmotivated arse, stop blaming others and make it a reality. People that always land on their feet know how to make it happen, whether consciously or not, and those that belly flop? They need to read on and discover the secret to getting lucky.
1. Think positive:
‘Lucky people’ spend their daydreaming time imagining how their life is going to work out. Picturing the décor of the dream house they will own one day (the secret is believing it will happen, not telling yourself you want it), creating the endings to their award-winning novel, envisaging the ideal dress they will find at the shops that day and expecting the perfect parking spot to appear. And guess what? The universe gives it to them. Go ahead, laugh, and then try it. Go on. Call it Law Of Attraction, Angels, The Secret, Coincidence or Luck if you will, but it boils down to the same simple thing – positive things happen to positive people.
And people that think they are unlucky stay unlucky. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy.
2. Grab every opportunity:
I read about an experiment once that was conducted to determine what made lucky people lucky. They brought together a group of people that thought they were lucky and those that thought they weren’t and asked them to sit in a café all day. The researchers then told them something amazing was going to happen to them. The lucky people sat there happily, looking around, smiling at people, making conversation and keeping busy. Those that thought they were unlucky stuck their head in a book and didn’t look up. That ‘lucky thing’ that was going to happen was a gift, from a stranger, that was asked to go into that café and give away his gift to someone. Who do you think he picked? Exactly! So once you start thinking positively, the next step is to then keep your eyes open and your heart even more open… It’s coming, good things are coming, and when they flitter past you need to spot them, grab them with both hands and don’t let go.
3. Never compare yourself to others:
Why would you bother? See that skinny beautiful woman on a millionaire’s yacht looking like she hasn’t a care in the world? She probably does, more than you do. So look at yourself, decide what you want and go and get it.
4. Be thankful:
Every. Single. Day.
It’s all about how you look at things and what you focus on.
Are you feeling unlucky because every guy you’ve dated has been an arsehole? Or are you feeling lucky because you are no longer going out with an arsehole and can now spot one a mile off?
Are you feeling unlucky because you have just been made redundant? Or are you feeling happy and hopeful that you have been given the chance to make a new start and go in a different direction?
Turn it around, every cloud and all that…
5. Work hard:
This one is the most obvious and the most ignored, because it’s the toughest to do.
“Oh I’m fat, I hate my job and haven’t got a boyfriend. My life is crap, you are so lucky!”
This was an ex-friend of mine. Ex because she finally drove me nuts with her constant ‘it’s okay for you’ attitude. What I wish I had said to her, and what everyone was thinking, was – “Stop eating cake every day and you will lose weight. Take pride in yourself and stop fucking moaning, and you will pull a decent bloke. And if you hate your job, leave and get another one.” Except doing all of that takes balls, determination, focus, confidence, effort and good old fashioned hard work, which isn’t as easy to do as having a major whinge-a-thon and staying put.
So next time you need a bit of luck try my five step plan. And if all else fails, look over enviously at your neighbour’s greener grass and tell them how it’s okay for them, because they are luckier than you. Just make sure you don’t say it to me…because you know what I will say to that!